THE MOST AMAZING THING

 The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Kahlil Gibran

   Last evening I facilitated a conversation called: Grief, Loss and Dying.  The event was inspired by the unexpected death of a dear friend. Angela Lloyd was a brilliant and unconventional storyteller and musician whose whimsy and kindness touched so many of us. Given what is taking place in our world, and the way that Angela’s passing shocked us, it felt like bringing awareness of the nature of grief, loss and dying could reconnect us to an internal visceral sense of integrity, and heart aroused intelligence, which we need to meet these times. To include our understanding of life as including death and change is life enhancing. Zoom  is definitely more a medium for story, then it is for direct living storytelling.  Hence, my first dilemma was ~ how to engage 79 people, many who were strangers, in a vulnerable communal contemplation on such a tender topic.

  I invited Nancy Wang, storyteller, dancer and therapist to join me.  It was a wonderful choice. Her presence was reassuring and she asked incredible questions during our planning sessions that encouraged bravery, and gentleness.  As things happen, I read a small fragment of a very big story the day of the first meeting with Nancy.  It was an incident in the Mahabharata ( Great Story) where The Lord of Death converses with Yudhisthira, the eldest of the Pandava brothers (heroes of the epic.” Death asked, “What is the most amazing thing about human beings?”  Yudisthara responded, “That each day we see so many dying and yet we continue to live as if we are deathless.” 

Storied words gave me a way to speak about the truth of impermanence, which is the essence the of the conversation we were about to have.  Having a story lets each person, whether they are aware of it or not, imagine the conversation. It feels as if the two characters are outside of us, somehwere in India a long time ago. Yet, at the same time, because of how we listen, the two characters arise from within each listener. They are individually viscerally created in the moment. They are parts of ourselves. This is the magic of storytelling We experience with distance, and with intimacy at one time. The mind is expanded. We feel the space of being, which we usually ignore or override with thinking.

That was our first preparation: listening, imagining, becoming and setting in motion the natural capacity to be inside and outside of an experience, at the same time.  One of the goals of myth and ritual is to remind us experientially that we are spiritual and every day beings, part of a far vaster story than our own seemingly ordinarylives.  

I followed with a mindfulness awareness exercise. I asked us to plant our feet on the ground, hence recalling that we rae in a body. then, to feel ourselves breathing. “Turn your attention inside of you and find your breath, large or small.”

I suggested not losing contact with beath and feet, but move focus upwards and outwards toward the screen. At first the screen i very flat. We might even call it rather than a platform, a flatform. Slowly, “ peruse each small box, seeing the face of someone . Look. at each box in the three pages one by one. Connect with what you see. If any thoughts come up or judgements, just let them vanish by not paying any attneiton to them. “Now as we scan the three pages let one’s feeling of connection radiate outwards towards each person, “ Remember that each person we are seeing has already or will experience grief, loss and will, at some point, die.

This practice took place with ease and a palpable sense of making connection beyond the mediated limits of the screen. I reminded people that we are not engaging with stories about grief. We are climbing under memory and story and will connect with the physical aspect of grief in our bodies.

We used both our hearts connected to our eyes, and our imagination in an act of tender seeing. We were preparing to engage in our conversation. This nurtures the magic of story telling and hearing a story. It is a means of honoring an entrance into a sanctum of engagement.

  Storytelling is far more than the recanting of a narrative, It is a means , a vehicle, a ceremony of reconnecting with the nature of relationship, and the cyclical nature of everything – creation, living, destruction and recreation.  It is always a shared event and a deeply personal occurrence.

  With all that is taking place in our world today, this transformative act, moves us from concentrating on “I  to awakening an awareness of We”. We are bot eradicating the actuality of our being unique individuals, but shift our isolation into community wakefulness. Simoultaneously experiencing our natural connectivity produces a sense of thrilling engagement. It uncovers and lets us access, the great timeless space of it all at the same time

If we are to live in these times of such incredible change, we need to sustain, our capacity to imagine, feel, share, have empathy, find insight and joy , regardless of the increasing circumstance of fear and devastating events that touch us all. We can continue to access to resources of heart mind awareness, and loving that supports community. It is our protection which may be devalued by those in charge, who have lost their bearing,. Let’s not be seduced into despair through authoritarianism, agonizing materialism, climate change, and AI.  

So please tell stories from the heart remembering impermanence, and the vast ness of space and mystery and keep exploring what can take place in the telling of a story. We can tell stories that are not distracting us from reality, but are a remedy that lets us be with reality, engage with others at a profound level, and strengthen the heartmind without being thrust into terror or fear. We are being called to meet the times with a trust in the way things actually unfold.

with love

Laura